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[zichen]

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[zichen]

Zichen never expected this. Seeing every new emotion from Xue Yang has left his heart in a whirlwind. It started with grief - a shared grief - and hatred melted into passion; passion then solidified into need. Now he is so wrapped up in the other man that Xue Yang could, easily, hurt him again.

But he doesn't care about that. Love is a risk and if he doesn't reach out, he fears they will both be lost and doomed to misery. In a way, Xue Yang's fate has become his own. So he trusts him.

Those hard sucks bring him right to the edge and he cries out, rocking against Xue Yang's tongue. He doesn't want to hurt him or choke him and so he does what he can to keep his motions gentle.

"A-Yang... Xue Yang!" he moans as he comes, tensing blissfully.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan could just as easily hurt Xue Yang at this point. He's starting to let his guard down, to dare to trust in this, that Song Lan will stay, but that definitely leaves him open for potential hurt. He's bared his throat and now he's tentatively trusting that Song Lan won't rip it out.

Xue Yang moans hungrily when Song Lan starts to come in his mouth. He seals his lips around that thick length and swallows greedily, not willing to let a single drop go to waste. Once certain that he's swallowed it all, he finally lets his lover's cock drop from his lips, panting heavily as he stays close and nuzzles against Song Lan's strong thigh.

[zichen]

Hurting Xue Yang at this point would be tantamount to failing himself. Zichen has failed himself enough and acted in ways that disturb and disgust him. He is a peaceful man at heart and though he can blame Xue Yang, in part, for his rage, he is the one that succumbed to it. He is the one who was so blinded by it that he only wanted to kill.

Xue Yang had died. On his sword. Zichen knows death intimately and he is tired of that chill. Being with Xue Yang like this, hearing his laughter and sleeping next to him is like sitting near a blazing fire. Of course he wants more.

Gasping and whimpering, he slowly comes down from his climax, his body trembling. He looks down at his lover and quickly lifts him into his arms, wrapping a hand around his hard cock.

"A-Yang..."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang doesn't want to hurt Song Lan either. There was definitely a time when that's all he wanted to do, but years of grief and loneliness has dulled his sharp edges somewhat. Even more so since coming to the Barge. He's been forced to confront so much while here, and against all odds, he's found something worth holding onto too. Something that isn't his wild obsession with a man who's out of his reach now.

He lets out a soft noise when he's lifted onto Song Lan's lap. He feels so small and harmless when his lover lifts him so easily... With a shiver he nuzzles into Song Lan's neck and moans. He thrusts to his hand, clinging needily and kissing at his lover's skin.

[zichen]

Existing under Xue Yang's control for years muddled his senses and his morality. The moment his freedom was returned to him, all he had wanted to do was kill; to get vengeance for Xiao Xingchen, A-Qing, his sect, the villagers and himself. Yet after doing so, he had found no comfort, no relief. Just more loneliness.

On the Barge, Xiao Xingchen found happiness elsewhere and Zichen can hardly blame him. However that happiness left him alone again. Until he turned and saw Xue Yang grieving just as much as him.

He wraps around the younger man and strokes him steadily, his lips finding Xue Yang's mouth and neck, nipping and kissing.

"I meant it." what was written in the card.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang had found some sense of relief in knowing his death was coming. He wouldn't have to live any longer with the grief and consequences of his actions... and then he'd woken up here. And found Xiao Xingchen too, but that had only brought more pain and more grief in the long run once it truly dawned on him how much he'd fucked up. How irredeemably monstrous he was in Xiao Xingchen's (metaphorical) eyes.

Song Lan had been a surprise in every way. This whole thing has truly been... but he's desperate to hold onto it. He needs this, needs Song Lan.

That word still scares him though. He'd told Xiao Xingchen he had fallen in love with him and Xiao Xingchen had told him he was crazy. Thrown those feelings back into his face.

A sob leaves him as he suddenly spends himself in Song Lan's hand, shuddering all over as he clings tighter to him. It's too much, all of it.

[zichen]

They can't run. Not anymore. Zichen strokes Xue Yang through his orgasm, brushing his thumb over the wet tip of his cock. The sob tugs at his heart and he brings their lips together for a searing kiss.

Yes, this is frightening! He brings Xue Yang's hand to his chest where his heart is racing. Then he forces himself to breathe deep, nudging their noses together.

"Together, A-Yang. Never alone."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang wraps his arms tightly around Song Lan's neck, moaning into the kiss as a stray tear runs down his cheek.

"Okay," he murmurs, his voice wavering a little. He is soothed by those words though, and he feels safe in his lover's strong arms. Safer than he'd ever thought possible.

[zichen]

Zichen kisses Xue Yang's shoulder and holds him tight. He feels the tear and catches it with his lips, kissing it away.

"Neither of us are good with words, but I don't say what I don't mean."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"... I've never... been with someone like this before," he murmurs. He'd wanted it with Xiao Xingchen, but he hadn't realized that until it had been far too late. "I may not be good at it." He gives a slightly self-deprecating smile as he leans further into Song Lan's arms.

[zichen]

"I think you're better at it than you realize." Zichen had wanted it with Xiao Xingchen too. That man is part of the complicated chain that links them.

"What would you do if I was hurt, hm? I can tell you what I would do for you." he kisses Xue Yang lightly, "I would take care of you and protect you. Then discover how you had been injured and if someone needs to answer for it."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"... If someone hurt you I'd probably kill them," he says. Song Lan wanted honesty, right? And Xue Yang can't help that the thought of someone hurting this man makes him feel violent.

[zichen]

"Then I need to make sure I am never hurt." Zichen tuts a little, but he can't hide that he is touched by the answer too, "I don't want you to get in trouble for my sake."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"It'd be worth it." Xue Yang finally smiles and leans up to kiss Song Lan's cheek. "You're mine. No one else gets to touch you."

[zichen]

His amazement turns into pleasure and he smiles at the kiss, glancing at Xue Yang fondly.

"I am yours." he agrees, "And you should know I am not easily wounded. You don't have to fight any battles for me, A-Yang."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang grins a little. "You don't get a say in that. I'll fight anyone on this ship if they try anything with you." Just let him be protective!

[zichen]

Chuckling, Zichen kisses Xue Yang's cheek.

"I would prefer if you hurried to be with me. If I'm hurt, I need you even more."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Okay, okay. I'll take care of you first, and then I'll kick their ass." Xue Yang giggles a little and leans up to nuzzle against Song Lan's ear and jawline.

[zichen]

"If I let you leave." Zichen shivers, smirking, "I may not. You are very good at taking care of me." and how will he sleep without his warm gremlin beside him?

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang grins, feeling that shiver, and kisses that ear. "Mmm... you're gonna have to really convince me to stay then," he practically purrs.

[zichen]

"How should I go about convincing you?" Zichen's voice dips huskily, "I can't be too energetic about it with an injury." he kisses along Xue Yang's jawline.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang grins and puts a hand on Song Lan's chest to gently push him down on his back in the bed. "Mm, you could let me ride you. That way I'd be doing most of the work..."

[zichen]

Zichen lays back, trusting the guidance. He swallows hard at the suggestion, looking over Xue Yang with obvious desire.

"I would like watching you do that."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Mm, I bet you would," Xue Yang teases and he reaches for the ointment that has been given a permanent spot on the bedside table.

"I suppose I would have to do this myself too," he says coyly as he coats his fingers and brings them up between his legs. He makes sure that Song Lan can see it when he slips one slick finger into himself.

[zichen]

Zichen lifts himself just enough to brush a soft kiss against Xue Yang's lips.

"I like watching you, especially when we are alone." he has noticed softer, warmer expressions from the other man and he finds himself addicted to them.

But he also doesn't mind watching slick fingers pressed into his lover's body.

"How does it feel?"