Xue Yang had used to loathe this man. He'd blamed him for everything that had gone wrong in Yi City, refusing to accept that he himself was ultimately the one responsible. Song Lan had just been a convenient scapegoat for all the things he regretted and hated himself for.
And somehow, they've ended up like this. Lovers. Engaged. Having amazing fucking sex.
He moans louder, the stinging pain making his cock throb. "A-Ah, A-Lan...!" he whines, throwing his head back, "Y-You're fucking perfect..." He digs his hands into the sheets as he's fucked so deep and slow. "Mnn, pull my hair..."
Xue Yang has shown him another man; another side and a heart worth saving. Zichen left his fury back in Yi City, buried with poor Xingchen and A-Qing. The path he learned from his Master - the path he chooses to follow - has no room for vengeance. Besides, he already killed Xue Yang. That monster is dead.
The Xue Yang in his arms is a new man who has so much to offer the world.
And him.
Grabbing a handful of gorgeous hair, Zichen tugs on the strands, continuing his relentless thrusts. He groans and chuckles, bending forward to suck on Xue Yang's shoulder.
A fresh start is what they both need, to allow them to build something new and good once they return home. Xue Yang doesn't want to slip back into old, bad habits. At least he knows that he'll have Song Lan there to support him.
The tightening at this scalp sends shivers rushing down his spine, making his cock twitch against the mattress. "Ah! A-Lan!" he moans, tightening himself up around his lover's cock when those thrusts grow faster and harder. "Ye-Yes, gege, fuck me," he gasps.
What they have has to strengthen. It has to be so good that they can withstand meeting others from their previous life. Zichen has no interest in keeping company with anyone he once knew or crossed paths with, but he is aware he will need to defend Xue Yang eventually.
And he won't fail.
Of course those are coherent thoughts meant for later. They are celebrating now. Zichen gives over to wild instinct and pounds into Xue Yang, knowing his lover will be sore. But he will take care of him. The sounds leaving his lips are almost like rough purrs or growls; nothing could feel better than this.
Xue Yang doesn't mind the roughness for even a second. No, he craves it. Loves feeling Song Lan inside even after he's pulled out.
"A-Lan!" he cries out, rocking himself needily onto Song Lan's thick cock. "I l-love you!" He practically sobs when he comes hard against the sheets, his body tightening up around his lover's cock.
The cry shakes him to his core and Zichen releases hard, sobbing against Xue Yang's hair. He keeps moving until he is soft, moaning as he pulls free and collapses beside his lover.
"A-Yang..." he gathers the younger man into his arms immediately, kissing the side of his head.
Xue Yang flushes and slips his arms around Song Lan's neck, holding him closer and nuzzling him.
"I should be the one thanking you... for giving me a chance, for believing in me and just... you've been here for me. You didn't give up on me, even when I was a total asshole." He laughs a little, tears pricking in his eyes again. "I love you."
He is just fine being pressed flush with the younger man, his eyelids drooping in contentment. He rubs over Xue Yang's warm back and kisses his shoulder.
"You've... You've done the same for me." his voice shakes, "So much has happened between us, A-Yang. But we've always been like that, haven't we? Our emotions have always been passionate. Anger... Hate. And now love." he pauses, "I know you won't hurt me or anyone else. I trust you."
Xue Yang grins warmly. "Mmm, we've always felt strongly about each other, one way or the other."
He kisses the top of Song Lan's head. "I can promise I won't do it deliberately," he murmurs. He doesn't want to, but he knows that it's quite possible that his past will catch up to him once they return home.
"Mm we have. I can't be ambivalent about you." Zichen closes his eyes and sighs under the kiss, "I know you won't. There will be obstacles before us, but I won't let go of you. I won't abandon you."
He hopes they can just...go off together and be done with the wider Cultivation world.
"Yeah. I trust you. You know that's not easy for me, so I trust you to not make me regret it. And I won't make you regret trusting in me either."
He tilts Song Lan's head up so he can kiss him on the lips. He'd love to leave the cultivation world behind too. It's nothing to do with them anyway. They're both outsiders who don't care for sect politics. All Xue Yang had ever wanted, he understands now, is to feel safe. Against all odds, he's found that with Song Lan.
"A-Yang. Xue Yang." Zichen murmurs warmly, lifting his head and meeting his lover's gaze, "I will never betray you. I will never send you away or leave your side. If something ever separates us know that I will find my way back to you."
Hadn't he done just that in the river? He sinks into the kiss with a soft hum, entwining their legs. This man, once the murderer of his family, is his. Xue Yang has chosen a different path and Zichen knows his lover mourns what he did. He can ask no more from him - and he won't. The agony and madness of the past is behind them for good.
Xue Yang deepens the kiss, pouring all of his love into it. "A-Lan..." he murmurs between their lips, "I know. You came for me... in the river. I thought I was gonna die, and all I could think about was you. And then you came for me." He smiles and nudges their foreheads together.
All of his thoughts melt away and he returns the love he feels, moaning quietly. He blinks, dazed, and then smiles softly.
"I was ready to defy the Admiral. Thankfully he understood my desperation." he nuzzles into the contact, brushing their noses together, "I won't leave you to die anywhere. If that's your fate, it will be mine too."
Xue Yang chuckles a little and lovingly nibbles at Song Lan's lips. "Damn, then I have to really make sure I don't get myself in a situation like that again, huh? Not that we have much control of what happens on the Barge." Another reason to get out of here as soon as they can.
He kisses him again. "But yeah... it's the same for me. I wouldn't want to keep going without you anyway..."
Zichen smiles shyly, delighted, tugging Xue Yang's lower lip between his teeth.
"Mm you only have so much control. If...and when...you need me, I won't fail you." he grows serious, "Here or back in our world. It doesn't matter. My promise remains the same."
Even if that means them facing death together. He knows what it's like; Xue Yang does too. The least he can do is make it easier on his lover.
Xue Yang lets out a pleased hum. "I will come for you if you need me too," he murmurs, "I'm never leaving you." He slides his leg over Song Lan's hip to get them closer to one another.
"I will. You've given me... so much to live for." Love. Safety. Happiness. A future. A purpose.
"I..." Zichen looks down, disappointed in himself, "I am uneasy about the future. I look forward to parts of it - to us - but sometimes I dream of the past. I think about being alive again." he shudders, "Death wasn't easy - you know the agony of it; will returning to life be the same?"
Xue Yang frowns a little and gently cups Song Lan's face between his hands. "I don't know, but we'll be doing it together, right?" He softly kisses him. "I'll hold onto you. You won't be alone and cold this time."
The warmth penetrates him and he relaxes, turning his face against Xue Yang's hands.
"We will." he breathes, "Thank you. That's all I need. The world isn't...black and white. I see that now." he smiles a little, "But that means there is hope for everyone. A small glimmer of light can become a star." his eyes are fixed on Xue Yang for a reason.
Xue Yang smiles and puts their foreheads together, his cheeks heating up a little. "Mm... Maybe," he allows with a soft noise. It is easier now to believe that the world isn't just ugly and cruel, filled with horrible people. He kisses Song Lan again, soft and sweet.
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And somehow, they've ended up like this. Lovers. Engaged. Having amazing fucking sex.
He moans louder, the stinging pain making his cock throb. "A-Ah, A-Lan...!" he whines, throwing his head back, "Y-You're fucking perfect..." He digs his hands into the sheets as he's fucked so deep and slow. "Mnn, pull my hair..."
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The Xue Yang in his arms is a new man who has so much to offer the world.
And him.
Grabbing a handful of gorgeous hair, Zichen tugs on the strands, continuing his relentless thrusts. He groans and chuckles, bending forward to suck on Xue Yang's shoulder.
"I love you."
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The tightening at this scalp sends shivers rushing down his spine, making his cock twitch against the mattress. "Ah! A-Lan!" he moans, tightening himself up around his lover's cock when those thrusts grow faster and harder. "Ye-Yes, gege, fuck me," he gasps.
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And he won't fail.
Of course those are coherent thoughts meant for later. They are celebrating now. Zichen gives over to wild instinct and pounds into Xue Yang, knowing his lover will be sore. But he will take care of him. The sounds leaving his lips are almost like rough purrs or growls; nothing could feel better than this.
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"A-Lan!" he cries out, rocking himself needily onto Song Lan's thick cock. "I l-love you!" He practically sobs when he comes hard against the sheets, his body tightening up around his lover's cock.
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"A-Yang..." he gathers the younger man into his arms immediately, kissing the side of his head.
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"A-Lan..." he murmurs breathily, his lips pressed to his lover's chest.
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"This might be my favorite birthday."
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"Thank you." he tucks his face against Xue Yang's neck, "You've given me...everything. I love you, A-Yang."
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"I should be the one thanking you... for giving me a chance, for believing in me and just... you've been here for me. You didn't give up on me, even when I was a total asshole." He laughs a little, tears pricking in his eyes again. "I love you."
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"You've... You've done the same for me." his voice shakes, "So much has happened between us, A-Yang. But we've always been like that, haven't we? Our emotions have always been passionate. Anger... Hate. And now love." he pauses, "I know you won't hurt me or anyone else. I trust you."
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He kisses the top of Song Lan's head. "I can promise I won't do it deliberately," he murmurs. He doesn't want to, but he knows that it's quite possible that his past will catch up to him once they return home.
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He hopes they can just...go off together and be done with the wider Cultivation world.
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He tilts Song Lan's head up so he can kiss him on the lips. He'd love to leave the cultivation world behind too. It's nothing to do with them anyway. They're both outsiders who don't care for sect politics. All Xue Yang had ever wanted, he understands now, is to feel safe. Against all odds, he's found that with Song Lan.
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Hadn't he done just that in the river? He sinks into the kiss with a soft hum, entwining their legs. This man, once the murderer of his family, is his. Xue Yang has chosen a different path and Zichen knows his lover mourns what he did. He can ask no more from him - and he won't. The agony and madness of the past is behind them for good.
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"I was ready to defy the Admiral. Thankfully he understood my desperation." he nuzzles into the contact, brushing their noses together, "I won't leave you to die anywhere. If that's your fate, it will be mine too."
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He kisses him again. "But yeah... it's the same for me. I wouldn't want to keep going without you anyway..."
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"Mm you only have so much control. If...and when...you need me, I won't fail you." he grows serious, "Here or back in our world. It doesn't matter. My promise remains the same."
Even if that means them facing death together. He knows what it's like; Xue Yang does too. The least he can do is make it easier on his lover.
"I'm not going anywhere so you have to carry on."
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"I will. You've given me... so much to live for." Love. Safety. Happiness. A future. A purpose.
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"We will." he breathes, "Thank you. That's all I need. The world isn't...black and white. I see that now." he smiles a little, "But that means there is hope for everyone. A small glimmer of light can become a star." his eyes are fixed on Xue Yang for a reason.
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