Zichen lifts his head and brushes their noses together, frowning sadly. Any tears he sees are kissed away, one by one. Then he gathers Xue Yang close. He knows who is in his arms; who he is kissing.
He hadn't wanted to cry again, but it's impossible not to when he's cradled so gently and kissed so sweetly. And by Song Lan of all people! It's a little ironic that they've ended up like this, but maybe they were always fated to fall into each other's arms. Two broken men united in their love and grief over a man who is out of their reach now.
He cries into Song Lan's shoulder, his hand laying over Song Lan's scar from Shuanghua. From Xiao Xingchen. But. Also from Xue Yang. He had in many ways made that happen.
Yes, this is strange and it probably makes zero sense to those on the outside. But Xue Yang and Song Zichen have lived in their own bubble for years, hating one another with an intensity that ended in four deaths (Song Zichen's, Xiao Xingchen's, the little girl's and Xue Yang's). Hate can shift into passion, into a deep connection if given the right circumstances.
Grieving has brought them together and Zichen can't help crying too. It hurts to hear Xue Yang's grief, but it hurts even more to know Xiao Xingchen is going far, far away from them.
Using a soft cloth, he wipes at Xue Yang's face again and kisses him softly.
And there is comfort in that, despite everything else. Song Lan is the only one who understands his grief, the only one who can share in it. The only one who had been by his side all of those years and seen everything.
Deep down, Xue Yang knows that he bears the brunt of the responsibility for all that happened, but there is too much pain in the way for him to be able to accept that. He has barely even started to get through it, which is why it all feels so unfair.
He's still sobbing when Song Lan wipes his face and kisses him, but somehow, the kiss grounds him a little. He puts a hand on Song Lan's cheek and returns the soft pressure.
Zichen lingers, their tears mixing, and then he tips his head back and kisses Xue Yang's forehead. It seems like they are losing everything, but that isn't the truth. The memories - the good memories - they have of Xiao Xingchen remain in their hearts. Furthermore, they have...this. Whatever this is.
He smiles faintly and tests if Xue Yang is ticklish, fluttering his fingers against his sides.
Xue Yang is taken completely off guard when Song Lan suddenly decides to tickle him! He lets out an embarrassing squeak and immediately tries to squirm away, staring at Song Lan with a look of betrayal on his face. How dare he!
Xue Yang squints at him suspiciously, but he does lay back down the way he'd been before Song Lan decided to use unfair tactics. First he leans up to sharply nip at Song Lan's bottom lip in retaliation!
Aw. Zichen barely holds back a snort, curling his arms around Xue Yang to welcome him back. The nipping earns a moan and Zichen returns as good as he gets, tugging on Xue Yang's upper lip.
Zichen sighs and leans into the kiss, scratching his nails lightly over Xue Yang's scalp. He doesn't want to think either. His heart and his head are sore and exhausted. When the kiss ends, he curls around Xue Yang and rests his head on his shoulder.
They can rest for a little while. Zichen keeps watch and lets Xue Yang sleep, occasionally stroking over his back and hair. When the water is growing too cold, he lifts them up and sees to drying Xue Yang off first.
Xue Yang starts to wake up when Song Lan carries him out of the bath. He's too tired to do much other than just staying cuddled up and letting the other man dry him off.
It's nice to just kind of let someone else take over for a little while.
Zichen settles Xue Yang in a chair after he redresses him in his robe. Then he dries off and gets dressed, brushing through his hair and then Xue Yang's. This is actually enjoyable and it isn't difficult for him to pick up the other man, when he is finished, and carry him back to his cabin.
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He cries into Song Lan's shoulder, his hand laying over Song Lan's scar from Shuanghua. From Xiao Xingchen. But. Also from Xue Yang. He had in many ways made that happen.
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Grieving has brought them together and Zichen can't help crying too. It hurts to hear Xue Yang's grief, but it hurts even more to know Xiao Xingchen is going far, far away from them.
Using a soft cloth, he wipes at Xue Yang's face again and kisses him softly.
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Deep down, Xue Yang knows that he bears the brunt of the responsibility for all that happened, but there is too much pain in the way for him to be able to accept that. He has barely even started to get through it, which is why it all feels so unfair.
He's still sobbing when Song Lan wipes his face and kisses him, but somehow, the kiss grounds him a little. He puts a hand on Song Lan's cheek and returns the soft pressure.
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He smiles faintly and tests if Xue Yang is ticklish, fluttering his fingers against his sides.
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Xue Yang is taken completely off guard when Song Lan suddenly decides to tickle him! He lets out an embarrassing squeak and immediately tries to squirm away, staring at Song Lan with a look of betrayal on his face. How dare he!
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Much more pleasant than thinking about all the bad shit and complicated feelings.
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He snakes his arms around Song Lan's waist and just lets himself rest. After a short moment, he starts to doze off.
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It's nice to just kind of let someone else take over for a little while.
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"I thought you were asleep."
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"I was, but your fussing woke me up."
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"So... now what?"
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"I don't know."
But.
"We are alive. We aren't going anywhere. We have time."
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"I react to you. I don't know if I would to anyone else."
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