Being kissed back feels so damn good. Not being rejected... that despite everything, Song Lan isn't so disgusted by him that he's put off by being kissed by him. He lets out a groan when Song Lan grabs his hair, pressing himself flush against that strong body. He slides his tongue into his mouth, and while it does feel a little strange to not have another tongue meet his, it really doesn't matter in the end. He's still enjoying himself.
They are two of a kind, really. Zichen sees himself as a monster, but perhaps a monster with a better grip on empathy and humanity than Xue Yang. There has to be a reason he remains like this; a reason why their souls have met again on this Barge; a reason why Xiao Xingchen is leaving them again, opening fresh wounds wider.
He just needs Xue Yang to trust him. To hold his hand in the darkness until they resurface in their world. He has spent years in his company - if they can be healthier, why should he fuss about spending a lifetime more with him?
And the kissing feels as good as the earlier touch. Better, in fact, but his breath stutters when he feels a tongue in his mouth. Ah, this... This can't be pleasing. Yet Xue Yang doesn't stop or pull back. The acceptance makes Zichen's chest ache and he doesn't want to let the other man go.
Xue Yang is driven by a combination of grief, spite and a deep desire for intimacy and connection. The latter especially. It may be pathetic, but right now, it's very comforting to be wanted. Even if this is a one time thing.
His hands slide down to Song Lan's chest, hands sliding along the muscles he can feel under his robes. His breathing grows heavier as he explores Song Lan's mouth with his tongue. Feeling and kissing him is definitely turning him on. He wonders how far Song Lan will get him take this...
The need surprises him and yet...doesn't. They have both been denied simple touch. Of course that leaves them like this, biting and sucking on each other's lips while their hands explore. Zichen's hands in particular sweep over Xue Yang's back and grab onto his waist.
Then he remembers, with a chill, that he has no idea what he is doing. He breaks the kiss and stares into Xue Yang's eyes, trying to make him understand.
This? This is all new! He looks so very uncertain, but he also isn't pulling away.
Xue Yang likes feeling Song Lan's hands on him. Large, strong hands grabbing at him, making him feel hot.
Then Song Lan breaks the kiss. At first Xue Yang thinks he wants to stop, and he feels a pit growing in his stomach, but Song Lan isn't pulling away. He just looks uncertain. Right, he's never done this before, has he?
"If you want to keep going, I'll show you how," he says, voice even breathier than before. Fuck, he really doesn't want to stop, can't handle another rejection.
Zichen caresses Xue Yang's waist and his hands slide down to grab onto his hips. Is this truly how he is going to learn about sex? And if Xue Yang is attracted to him, why didn't he do anything with him when he was under his control? Oh.
He knows why. A small smile curves his lips. Xue Yang is aroused by someone who is attracted to him; who wants him. That's why he never forced himself on Xingchen either.
Pressing a kiss to the other man's cheek, Zichen pulls back just enough to give him a nod. Yes. Show him how.
Xue Yang is a lot of things, a lot of negative things, but he's not a rapist! Having sex with someone who doesn't want it... what would be the fun in that, after all? The fact that he has his own trauma surrounding sex from when he was younger is another factor. Not that he'd ever consider himself a victim.
Being given the go-ahead excites him a lot. He immediately starts to undo Song Lan's robes, eager to get his hands on bare skin. Once they're open, he slides his hands up the other man's chest. Meanwhile, his mouth busies itself by pressing kisses to Song Lan's throat.
There is a small ray of hope in that; a tiny chink in Xue Yang's insanity where empathy might wiggle through and take hold. Zichen has his own issues - perhaps some of them extend from trauma too - and so he would never take someone against their will. There would be no joy in it.
He can hardly look away from Xue Yang's eager expression and he finds himself kissing him - softly at first until he gains confidence. The hands on his chest earn a pleasurable hiss and the black lines on his skin almost seem to pulse.
Xue Yang is certainly not incapable of empathy. It's just hard to muster up most of the time because of how he's been treated most of his life.
"Mm..." He lets out a pleased little sound when he's kissed. He runs his hands down Song Lan's chest, fingers rubbing over nipples and feeling along muscles to find out where the other man is sensitive. Eventually, he guides one of Song Lan's hands to his own robes, encouraging him to do some exploring of his own.
Zichen will find more reasons for him to exercise the emotion. He finds it easiest to be kind to animals, but obviously he can't bring Xue Yang anything that bites.
Of course all of that is in the back of his mind as he is kissed and stripped. His body is strong and muscular, honed for defending himself or others whether he has a sword or not. Even in a fist-fight, Song Zichen would fare well.
The sensitivity of his skin - and his nipples - has him making sounds. He detests his voice, but he can't help the groans. When his hand is drawn to Xue Yang's robes, he pulls them open hurriedly, sliding his hands over the bare body beneath them.
That strength is hot. It's something Xue Yang has always been attracted to, what had first caught his eye about Xiao Xingchen (and Song Lan too).
"Fuck," Xue Yang gasps when he suddenly has large hands touching his skin. He sucks down hard on Song Lan's lips, moaning needily. He has no patience when he's being touched, immediately wanting more. Craving it. He runs a hand down to grope Song Lan through his pants, wanting to feel if he's hard too.
Then a kitten or two. Babies would be best and Xue Yang has to take care of them patiently. Zichen will check in often, of course, because kittens.
Growling in his throat, he rids himself of his robes and crawls over Xue Yang. He pushes the robes - both outer and inner - open and strokes his hands up and down the other man's sides, playing with his nipples too.
"Ahm!" he winces at the sound, looking away in embarrassment. However the hardness pressed against Xue Yang's hand definitely gives him away. Yes, he is interested.
Fuck. That growl... Xue Yang feels an intense pang of pleasure, causing his cock to harden further. And then Song Lan crawls on top of him, making him even more aroused. He licks his lips and drapes his arms around the other man's neck so he can reach up and loosen his hair.
His own nipples are very sensitive, immediately hardening under Song Lan's hands. He arches up, shuddering as he reaches down to undo the other man's pants too. Feeling how hard he is has him incredibly eager to see and feel that cock without any barriers in between. He's just as hard himself, of course.
Everything is happening so quickly and, in a way, that's good. Zichen doesn't want to think right now. His sore heart and his self-disgust haven't stopped Xue Yang from wanting him. Zichen wants to be wanted and needed. He is tired of being alone.
They are the same in that. His trousers come off easily, revealing him to his new...lover? Is that what they are? Words are so useless at conveying everything a mind and a heart feels.
Right now? They are two sides of the same coin, looking for comfort.
Zichen pulls down Xue Yang's trousers and shudders at the erection he finds. Now he is lost again and he looks up at Xue Yang, questioning him.
Oh, that's so much better. Xue Yang kicks his pants all the way off before focusing entirely on Song Lan's cock. Fuck. It's big. He shivers and takes it in his hand, stroking it, the look in his eyes growing hazy with lust.
He does notice the questioning look on Song Lan's face and giggles a little. "Do you have anything in that pouch of yours that's slippery? Oil, ointment, anything like that." He still hasn't gotten anything like that himself, but he's only slept with Meng Yao since coming here so it hasn't really been a priority.
He fumbles, looking for his pouch, his eyes almost fluttering closed. The hand on his arousal is making thinking very difficult. He swells under Xue Yang's touch, hard and aching.
Finally he pulls his pouch to his chest and reaches inside. Some of the salve he had used on Xue Yang's knuckles should work, right? He pulls out the bottle and then drags Xue Yang into a hard kiss.
Xue Yang grins heatedly at the eager responses he's getting from Song Lan. Fuck, being wanted feels so good.
He moans into the kiss, arching up again to rub their erections together, needily gasping and panting. "F-Fuck, put some on your fingers and put them in me," he manages to get out against Song Lan's lips. He wants to be filled up so badly.
Fingers... Inside. To stretch? Zichen tilts his head, considering, his lips swollen from their kisses. He coats his fingers in the salve and then seeks out Xue Yang's entrance. Upon finding the hole, he caresses around it first before adding any pressure.
Xue Yang is hot. Imagining himself surrounded by heat excites him and Zichen pushes a finger inside, gasping.
Xue Yang draws his legs up, puts them on Song Lan's shoulders to make it easier for him. He bites his lip in anticipation when he feels that questing finger rubbing him in such a sensitive place. When the finger slides inside he moans.
"Uh-huh, just like that..." he breathes encouragingly.
Blinking, Zichen accepts the new position and quickly realizes how...useful...it will be. He strokes over the inside of Xue Yang's thigh and kisses the tender skin. Will he be comfortable like this?
The moan gives him his answer and he smiles a bit, pressing his finger deeper. His cock jumps eagerly, pressing against his stomach.
"Mmm..." Xue Yang's cheeks flush a little when he's kissed like that. His thighs are very sensitive too, and the lips and fingers caressing the skin there makes his cock twitch against his stomach.
"F-Fuck... mnn, deeper. There's a really good spot..." Xue Yang breathes as he presses down on that finger.
Noticing that Xue Yang likes being kissed there, Zichen continues, sucking on the tender skin until he leaves behind an imprint of his teeth. His eyes widen at the encouragement and he presses his finger as deep as he can, thrusting and curling the digit ever so slightly.
A really good spot? Will he know when he has found it?
Oh, that's hot... Xue Yang really wants those marks, wants to be able to feel them when he rubs his thighs together. Know that Song Lan had been there...
He definitely will! When he finds the right spot, Xue Yang gasps loudly, head thrown back and toes curling. "Fuck! Y-Yeah, right there!"
Zichen marks the other leg too, so the thighs match. It would be rude to leave Xue Yang lopsided! Though the idea does amuse him.
The sight of the other man gasping for him - all because of something he did - makes Zichen's eyes burn traitorously. Now is not the time to cry! And yet...
Being wanted and being able to answer that need like this... It is good. Zichen busies himself, kissing along Xue Yang's thighs as he adds another finger.
This is definitely a much more pleasant way to deal with their combined grief! Xue Yang feels himself getting lost in the pleasure Song Lan is providing. He likes the matching marks on the insides of his thighs! Having them both aching a little... it's so good.
The second finger makes him mewl in pleasure, his rocking growing a little desperate. "Yes, fuck, more," he gasps, heels digging into Song Lan's back.
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He just needs Xue Yang to trust him. To hold his hand in the darkness until they resurface in their world. He has spent years in his company - if they can be healthier, why should he fuss about spending a lifetime more with him?
And the kissing feels as good as the earlier touch. Better, in fact, but his breath stutters when he feels a tongue in his mouth. Ah, this... This can't be pleasing. Yet Xue Yang doesn't stop or pull back. The acceptance makes Zichen's chest ache and he doesn't want to let the other man go.
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His hands slide down to Song Lan's chest, hands sliding along the muscles he can feel under his robes. His breathing grows heavier as he explores Song Lan's mouth with his tongue. Feeling and kissing him is definitely turning him on. He wonders how far Song Lan will get him take this...
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Then he remembers, with a chill, that he has no idea what he is doing. He breaks the kiss and stares into Xue Yang's eyes, trying to make him understand.
This? This is all new! He looks so very uncertain, but he also isn't pulling away.
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Then Song Lan breaks the kiss. At first Xue Yang thinks he wants to stop, and he feels a pit growing in his stomach, but Song Lan isn't pulling away. He just looks uncertain. Right, he's never done this before, has he?
"If you want to keep going, I'll show you how," he says, voice even breathier than before. Fuck, he really doesn't want to stop, can't handle another rejection.
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He knows why. A small smile curves his lips. Xue Yang is aroused by someone who is attracted to him; who wants him. That's why he never forced himself on Xingchen either.
Pressing a kiss to the other man's cheek, Zichen pulls back just enough to give him a nod. Yes. Show him how.
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Being given the go-ahead excites him a lot. He immediately starts to undo Song Lan's robes, eager to get his hands on bare skin. Once they're open, he slides his hands up the other man's chest. Meanwhile, his mouth busies itself by pressing kisses to Song Lan's throat.
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He can hardly look away from Xue Yang's eager expression and he finds himself kissing him - softly at first until he gains confidence. The hands on his chest earn a pleasurable hiss and the black lines on his skin almost seem to pulse.
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"Mm..." He lets out a pleased little sound when he's kissed. He runs his hands down Song Lan's chest, fingers rubbing over nipples and feeling along muscles to find out where the other man is sensitive. Eventually, he guides one of Song Lan's hands to his own robes, encouraging him to do some exploring of his own.
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Of course all of that is in the back of his mind as he is kissed and stripped. His body is strong and muscular, honed for defending himself or others whether he has a sword or not. Even in a fist-fight, Song Zichen would fare well.
The sensitivity of his skin - and his nipples - has him making sounds. He detests his voice, but he can't help the groans. When his hand is drawn to Xue Yang's robes, he pulls them open hurriedly, sliding his hands over the bare body beneath them.
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That strength is hot. It's something Xue Yang has always been attracted to, what had first caught his eye about Xiao Xingchen (and Song Lan too).
"Fuck," Xue Yang gasps when he suddenly has large hands touching his skin. He sucks down hard on Song Lan's lips, moaning needily. He has no patience when he's being touched, immediately wanting more. Craving it. He runs a hand down to grope Song Lan through his pants, wanting to feel if he's hard too.
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Growling in his throat, he rids himself of his robes and crawls over Xue Yang. He pushes the robes - both outer and inner - open and strokes his hands up and down the other man's sides, playing with his nipples too.
"Ahm!" he winces at the sound, looking away in embarrassment. However the hardness pressed against Xue Yang's hand definitely gives him away. Yes, he is interested.
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His own nipples are very sensitive, immediately hardening under Song Lan's hands. He arches up, shuddering as he reaches down to undo the other man's pants too. Feeling how hard he is has him incredibly eager to see and feel that cock without any barriers in between. He's just as hard himself, of course.
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They are the same in that. His trousers come off easily, revealing him to his new...lover? Is that what they are? Words are so useless at conveying everything a mind and a heart feels.
Right now? They are two sides of the same coin, looking for comfort.
Zichen pulls down Xue Yang's trousers and shudders at the erection he finds. Now he is lost again and he looks up at Xue Yang, questioning him.
What do they do?
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He does notice the questioning look on Song Lan's face and giggles a little. "Do you have anything in that pouch of yours that's slippery? Oil, ointment, anything like that." He still hasn't gotten anything like that himself, but he's only slept with Meng Yao since coming here so it hasn't really been a priority.
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Finally he pulls his pouch to his chest and reaches inside. Some of the salve he had used on Xue Yang's knuckles should work, right? He pulls out the bottle and then drags Xue Yang into a hard kiss.
What does he do with it?
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He moans into the kiss, arching up again to rub their erections together, needily gasping and panting. "F-Fuck, put some on your fingers and put them in me," he manages to get out against Song Lan's lips. He wants to be filled up so badly.
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Xue Yang is hot. Imagining himself surrounded by heat excites him and Zichen pushes a finger inside, gasping.
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"Uh-huh, just like that..." he breathes encouragingly.
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The moan gives him his answer and he smiles a bit, pressing his finger deeper. His cock jumps eagerly, pressing against his stomach.
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"F-Fuck... mnn, deeper. There's a really good spot..." Xue Yang breathes as he presses down on that finger.
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A really good spot? Will he know when he has found it?
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He definitely will! When he finds the right spot, Xue Yang gasps loudly, head thrown back and toes curling. "Fuck! Y-Yeah, right there!"
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The sight of the other man gasping for him - all because of something he did - makes Zichen's eyes burn traitorously. Now is not the time to cry! And yet...
Being wanted and being able to answer that need like this... It is good. Zichen busies himself, kissing along Xue Yang's thighs as he adds another finger.
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The second finger makes him mewl in pleasure, his rocking growing a little desperate. "Yes, fuck, more," he gasps, heels digging into Song Lan's back.
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